How legolas by laura Should Have Ended
by TARDIS Blue Carbuncle
Summary: Do not let the title scare you... Middle Earth has been overturned by the presence of Laura, causing Tolkien fans and English professors everywhere to cringe. The story ended rather abruptly... that is because Laura was dealt with by two unexpected saviors... Rated T because of the presence of Cthulhu.


**Author's Note: Hello to the few who I assume would even attempt to read this due to the infamous fanfic quoted in the title. This is a crossover drabble based on the fanfic "legolas by laura" (yes, that is the actual title), a fanfic that is notorious for its lack of quality, its overt Mary-Sueness and overall annoying nature. For those who have not heard of the fic, if you wish to risk insanity or a heart attack, read ****"DAILYDOSED: legolas by laura" by . .fanfic, and "A Study in Fail: a legolas by laura commentary" by Alexandria Moon. They are commentaries, but the comments in the middle prevent any possible drops in IQ from the sheer awfulness of "legolas by laura". I wrote my own commentary on the fic, but I have not posted it because it is a commentary, and thusly against the rules of .**

**So, to sum up the reason behind the origins of this fanfic, the "story" ends with the following "sentence": **Laura said"what happened to me Legolas"and then Legolas said"you got kidnaped by the Orcs and they raped you and also bet you almost to death and then the Dark lord gave you some posion" and then Laura said"why I can only move on arm"and then Legolas said"your left arm is broken".Then the door opened and it was Strider and then Laura said"Hello Strider"and then Strider said"I see you are awake"and then Laura

**Folks, I kid you not; the story ends right there. After my brother and I found that out, I came up with a bit of an explanation as to why. This story is that explanation. I promise you that my use of the English language is far superior to the unfortunate six-year-old who wrote "legolas by laura". So go read one of the commentaries by the authors I mentioned above, then read the drabble below. And prepare for insanity of the better sort, MWAHAHAHA!**

**Ahem, I warn you that this is a fanfic purely for humor, and much of this is not canon. However, I will stick to canon when I can, because I am one of those people who believe that canon is law that can only be dispensed with in extreme circumstances and only for a very good reason.**

**Disclaimers: No, I am neither J.R.R. Tolkien nor H.P. Lovecraft. **

**Sincerely,**

**TARDIS Blue Carbuncle**

_Then the door opened and it was Strider and then Laura said"Hello Strider"and then Strider said"I see you are awake"and then Laura…_

"_legolas by laura"_

... opened her mouth as if to speak in reply; however, Fate decided that none would ever learn what she was to say next. For at that moment, a resounding boom filled the air, and the wall opposite Legolas, Laura, and Strider crumbled and fell.

A dark shadow fell over the room, enclosing around the ruined stones and the three occupants. Within the darkness, Strider heard whispers of a thousand voices; rather than cry out in alarm as his instincts warned him to do, his tongue was silent, his body still. Before his eyes swam a vision of a fate worse than death… or far better, according to the eldritch whispers that filled his ears and rendered his mind no longer his own.

Frodo, captive of the machinations of Laura, beheld the scene from outside the room. He saw Laura, a vile creature called a Mary-Sue, and the imposters of his friends caught in the trap, and he cried the same cry that his uncle uttered at the Battle of the Five Armies: "The Eagles! The Eagles are coming!"

The shadow, however, did not belong to the Great Eagles, and Frodo realized his error as several amorphous tentacles grabbed the three foul beings. None of them screamed; none of them made a sound even as they stared into the abyss of the monstrous jaws before them. A glassy film fell over their eyes, and a vague smile settled on each of their faces as the beast devoured them, one by one. After Strider disappeared into the depths of the beast, it turned to Frodo; the beast bore the head of an octopus, had a body resembling that of a toad, and that was all Frodo could behold before he turned and ran for his life ere he could lose his sanity.

Cthulhu, for that was the name of the creature, did not give chase to the Halfling; his work was complete. Pulling his massive bulk through the hole in the wall of the decrepit castle, he relayed a message of his success through the dark chaos of the universe to the one who appealed to him for this task. Within moments, he received a reply, and the monstrous being started his long journey back to the sea. The land was unfamiliar to him, yet he knew that no harm would come to him, for his path to the safety of R'leyh was guided by the hand of his dearest friend, Maedhros Feanorion.

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**Author's Note: So, there you have it; how "legolas by laura" should have ended. Before I forget, I do have an apology to make: hopfrog, if you're reading this, I am terribly sorry if you are at all angered by this fanfic, for I know that I had to have messed something up along the way. In any case, I do believe that this is the true explanation as to why the story ended as it did. I hope that you were entertained, even if you do not understand Cthulhu (actually, that's a misstatement; no one can understand Cthulhu, otherwise we would go insane). Have a little Lovecraftian madness in your day…**


End file.
